I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
