i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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