Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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