Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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