Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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