i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
