So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
