i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I CAN MOONWALK!
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
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