I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
