He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
