dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
