I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
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You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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