Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
