Will you blow on my dice?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
