he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
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