i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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