So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
