Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize
