You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
