Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
