i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
he had hair everywhere except his balls
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
