I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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