Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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