He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
