I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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