So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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