Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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