I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
