OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize