I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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