College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
