Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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