i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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