so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
He? As in you personified your dick?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
