Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
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