butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
