You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
