I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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