So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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