We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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