Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
