i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
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my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
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THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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