you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
When did angry sex become our thing?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I'm always down for nudity.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
