We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
