It's Friday. Sex?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
