summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
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