North Korea, Best Korea!
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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