if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
