I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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