Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I understand Curling. That high.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Randomize
