I want to have your abortion
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Found the puke drawer
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
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