He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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