so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
