We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
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