OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
