Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
